Sample Excerpts...

'The Truth About Women -
What Every Man Must Know (in and out of bed)'

Excerpt 3: The Doomed Relationship Model

Excerpt 1:

Introduction

Men and women are different, requiring them to fulfill different roles in a relationship to get the most reward out of it. If we do not recognize this, we get a standard relationship where the woman is not fulfilled and happy, and the man pays for this in ways he may not even realize. The high divorce rate is proof that something new is needed. Just look around you. Most women are frustrated in their relationships, and their well meaning men can't see why it's happening.

Years of society's conditioning and a natural resistance to change mean that if you don't do something about it, you will follow the path mapped out by so many other unhappy couples. It's not your fault; it's simply a product of the society and times you have been born into.

In this book I draw upon my experience as a professional life coach, and 30 years of research by the More Institute, to bring you insights and practical steps that will elevate your relationship to a much higher level. In fact, for many men this will be a completely new way of relating.

In my journey to learn more about women, and the nature of man-woman relationships, I have become embarrassed by the underlying arrogance, selfishness and chauvinism I have found in myself - and in my gender. I am clear that the men I see every day who disrespect, devalue, ridicule and make fun of women have simply not yet learned how to please their partners. It is the man who has not basked in the glow of a radiant woman who seeks to compete with the female sex.

Excerpt 2:

Map of This Book

In Part 1, we explore relationships between men and women. It's important to really understand what's going on if we're going to step outside of it, and create everything you really want in your relationship.

The first chapter, The standard relationship model: The Losing Game will give you a clear picture of the losing games played by couples around the world. You will learn the underlying dynamic of the Doomed Relationship Model, which has become the standard model used in our society. It is highly likely you will recognize at least part of yourself or your relationship here.

We then examine, in Chapter 2, A Winning Relationship Model a new way of relating which brings out the best in both partners. This can be quite a shift for some relationships

By fully understanding what women really want, and what men really want, you will see how these two drives naturally fit together beautifully in the Winning Relationship Model.

You will also learn about the men and women of the More Institute, who have been practicing these principles for 30 years, and are living proof of the amazing results possible.

In Chapter 3, But wait a minute! Some common objections we'll explore the resistance or obstacles you might encounter, and how to overcome them.

In Chapter 4 we examine The power of a woman. We will take a close look at why it is important for men to tap into this power, and the resulting benefits once they do. We also look at the high price you will pay (or likely are paying!) if your partner is not happy, and even go as far as to say: a woman puts the ceiling on a man's happiness!

In Chapter 5, Understanding women you will learn a little - just a little - of what it is like to be a woman. Women are treated differently to men, and they effectively grow up in a different world than we do. You will get a glimpse at the 'raw deal' women have in our society. True, society is evolving and changing in the right direction. But to truly be an extraordinary partner for a woman you must understand how far we have yet to go. The playing field is not level.

We conclude Part 1 with Chapter 6, Well Meaning But Clueless: the three forms of male dumbness, looking at the natural barriers that stop men from winning in relationships. I will explain that while men are generally well meaning, we are also usually clueless when it comes to giving our partner what she wants. Understanding how much we 'miss' is critical if we are to learn a new way of being.

We'll then get much more practical in Part II.

In Chapter 7, The Rules you will learn that you have probably been trying to play the Relationship Game to some extent all your life. However, no one explained the rules to you, and there were no classes on how to win. Instead, with the best of intentions you stumbled on using your parents, the movies, and chauvinistic friends as role models.

Welcome to the Holy Grail<grin>. In this chapter you will also learn the Rules of the Game, which will be a major relief to most men: "Oh - you mean she's supposed to act that way?"

In Chapters 8 - 11 you will discover how to find out what your partner wants, even when she's not clear what that is. I won't go into detail here because I don't want to give away too many of the techniques. But suffice it to say that here you will find detailed ideas, techniques, instructions - and exercises you can immediately apply to your partner. In short, this section is about how to be an extraordinary partner to a woman. Once you have practiced these techniques, and read them several times over a couple of weeks, you will enjoy Advanced Strategies, Tricks and Traps (Chapter 12) - for the man wishing to go from relationship competence to Relationship Mastery.

At that point, you'll be ready for my sequel, Extraordinary Partner in the Bedroom. In Chapter 13 I will give you a preview of the techniques covered in this amazing sequel, where you will learn how to apply all the principles of this book to go beyond giving your partner mental and emotional pleasure, to giving her erotic, sensual and sexual pleasure. You will learn a simple technique to help you discover when you're doing things right, and what corrections are needed to maximize her pleasure. The goal is to give her more pleasure than she's ever experienced before.

Excerpt 3:

The Doomed Relationship Model

Women are taught from an early age to be giving, and to look after their man. They learn that a woman is valued in society when she 'lands a man', gets married and has children. This places enormous pressure on her to find a man and keep him happy. Combined with this, she is fully aware that she will become less and less 'marketable' as a wife as she ages, so time to find a man is running out.

Little boys learn that achieving is good - build bridges, skyscrapers, and fly to the moon. They do not dream of their wedding day and being a husband, but rather what they will be when they grow up. While men are well-meaning, they are more self-focused than partner-focused - that is, they are selfish. And men do not suffer the same time pressure to marry, because for them time does not run out in the way that it does for women - in fact, many men become more marketable, not less, with age!

Women desire, in fact thrive on attention. When her partner is thinking about her, giving her what she asks for, and even giving her what she wants before she asks for it, a woman shines. She is radiant, and it spills over to those around her - including her man. However, most men are not taught to focus on their partner. They learn to focus on their own needs. Combined with this, they are not as intuitive as women, and therefore often do not naturally know what their partner needs or wants. She takes this lack of attention personally, reading it as a signal that she is not loved.

It gets worse. If women were taught that it was OK to ask for what they wanted, and that they deserved attention, we might have a fighting chance of succeeding in relationship. If this were the case, women might then clearly communicate to their men what they want so that the men could provide it. However, women learn that they are not to want too much; rather, it is more important to be giving - to be a good partner. Women are in this way trained or conditioned to give, acting out of a feeling of obligation, or fear that the man will leave them if they don't do it. This is not the same as giving from choice.

Thus we have a relationship model which is quite sad once we clearly see its dynamics, yet which is almost universal! Women crave attention, but are taught to provide for their man. Men love to achieve goals, and have the potential to be excellent providers, yet have not learned to focus on their partner. Even if they did, they would not have a clear understanding of what their partner wanted.

The Cost

The result of all this is that the woman is often frustrated, and - not trained to understand what she is lacking and to ask for it - will often 'act out' in ways which are not pleasant for either partner. The man is often well-meaning, but clueless.

This has unfortunate consequences for both partners. Firstly, the woman is missing out on the attention she desires and needs in order to shine as a powerful woman. Secondly, the man is missing out on the fulfillment he would get from meeting her needs. Thirdly, he misses out on the numerous benefits of having a having a lit up, radiant partner - which is actually what he most craves. Last but not least, her frustration will have a very strong negative effect on the relationship. In Chapter 4 we will examine how - either deliberately or unconsciously - a woman exerts a powerful influence on a man's happiness. If she is unhappy, he will pay. (And unfortunately if you're currently single and dating, you'll stay single.)

One hundred years ago, women put up with this unfulfilling model, having been taught that this was all they deserved, and that marriage was for life. However, with religion now exerting generally less control in society, and the beginning of the liberation of women, they no longer need to stay in society's standard relationship. They either leave their partners, or find a way to have their partners decide to leave them. Or, they engage in a subtle form of torture to punish the guy for being the well-meaning, but selfish and clueless male that he is.

So, to summarize the Doomed Relationship Model:

Women desire attention
Men enjoy fulfilling their partner's needs, when they know how
Most women give out of obligation and conditioning, and are slowly wilting from lack of attention
Men are well-meaning, yet focus on themselves
The system eventually breaks down, for example in separation, or divorce

So here is the secret behind the breakdown of most relationships, and the reason that many, which do persist, are operating at only 50% of their potential:

the relationship model we are using gives both men and women exactly the opposite of what each actually needs for fulfillment!

But there is an alternative…in the next chapter we will take a look at the Winning Relationship Model, which is the one that leads to the most fun, and brings out the best in both partners. Any couple can use it, and, once they do, will wonder how they every got by without it! Single men can use it to get dates, have a wonderful time dating, and have more than one woman wanting to be his partner.

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